Heretic, author unknown.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said,

"Stop! Don't do it!".

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"

He said, "religious."

I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?"

He said, "Christian."

I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist?"

He said, "Baptist!"

I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist church of God or Baptist church of the Lord?"

He said, "Baptist church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist church of God or are you reformed Baptist church of God?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you reformed Baptist church of God, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist church of God, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist church of God, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, Heretic scum!" and pushed him off.